Hi! Do you know what today is?! Tara Tuesday! The day where I post shorter (well not so much THIS Tuesday, but usually) posts, about how my week is going. On this first Tara Tuesday, we have very important things to talk about. Like:
I don’t feel sorry for these cows. Being afraid that people are going to eat you is no excuse for illiteracy.
I’ve been boycotting Chick-fil-a. I know that after reading that last sentence a lot of you conservatives out there are probably saying, “That’s enough for me, I’m out!” But chill out. Yes, I’m boycotting them, but I’m not about to get all political on you. I mean, I AM boycotting them because I think they are wrong in their stance against gay marriage, but I knew about that before the whole controversy blew up this summer. The thing is, I just don’t need to be eating there. It isn’t good for me, I don’t agree with their policies, so why not stop going there? We could argue about the politics all day, but this post isn’t about that!
It’s about how I have a sauce problem.
Recently I decided to go to Chick-fil-a for dinner because the Huffington Post ran this article:
about how they were changing their policies. They were going to stop funding anti-gay groups.
Well, I say it’s because of that, but it’s also because Chick-fil-a was my favorite fast food place before this whole firestorm started. As soon as this article came out I was like, on my way to the drive thru line.
I had not been to Chick-fil-a in two months, and going through the drive thru made me realize something about myself. Everyone says that Chick-fil-a is awesome because of the chicken. Getting this food for the first time in two months made me realize that I don’t care about the chicken at all, I care about the sauce.
All of my dreams.
I wish they would put it out on the customer counter with the ketchup and straws so that I could shovel it into my purse inconspicuously.
I really have no explanation; I just LOVE their specific sauces. No matter what I get at Chick-fil-a, I absolutely have to get two packets of ranch sauce, two packets of Polynesian, and two packets of Chick-fil-a sauce. This is so that I have extra sauce to eat with other, different foods later. Actually, that’s not even true enough; I could PROBABLY just eat it alone if I tried. The thing is that usually when I go to Chick-fil-a, all I get is 8 chicken nuggets. So, if the staff at these restaurants is assuming that I’m just a girl who likes to drink dipping sauces, well, they are basically right.
Dinner of champions.
So somewhere along the line I started ordering extra food which I did not consume, so that my massive amounts of sauce wouldn’t look strange. That’s how my family got hooked on Chick-fil-a. Not because I’m a loving family member, who feeds my hungry family, but because I didn’t want strange looks from the people who work at Chick-fil-a.
I have to stop going again because, as you might notice from the correction in the article above, it turns out that they have changed nothing. No policies have been altered, and it was all just rumors and speculation. I also have to stop going because sauce addiction just isn’t healthy. There is no way I can rationalize 6 packets of sauce for 8 nuggets.
The other thing about this week was that I found out that my dad is even more clueless about comic book characters than your 85 year old grandma. In the last year, I’ve actually kind of gotten into them. My mom says it’s because I want to impress the guys at the comic book shop. I found out from a friend that they all think I’m cute, so now every time I go there I try to look effortlessly glamorous.
But the REAL reason is that I’m secretly a huge geek.
This is at a midnight release party for a Harry Potter Novel. The 6th one. I read the book so fast that I skipped a page. Like, I was reading so fast that I turned two pages at once and didn’t even care about the fact that nothing made sense.
Anyways, three days ago, this conversation happened:
My Dad: “Girls…what superhero could I be…?”
Dad: “No, no, someone else….Tara, isn’t there a grey haired superhero in the Justice League? Yes, there’s a grey haired guy in Justice League, I’ll be that one.”
Me,(distractedly): “No, there is no one in the Justice League with grey hair, you’re just crazy.”
Dad: “Yes! Isn’t there a character that controls the weather? Storm, or Thunder, or something?”
Me: “Wait, what??? Storm is on the X-men! Also, she’s African American. And a woman.”
Dad: “Justice League, X-men, whatever. I could dress up as a woman. I’ve done it before.
If you’re curious, my dad was tinker bell for Halloween once. My mom was Peter Pan.
For the little poofs on her feet, my dad took two green loofah’s and glued them to a pair of sandals. It was pretty hot.
That’s it for Tara Tuesdays! These are supposed to be short posts. I promise that someday you will see a Tara blog post that is not the length of a novel.