Where I almost pass out at the gym

Happy New Year everybody! I know, it’s already like two weeks into January, but it’s been a busy two weeks for me. I have lots of plans for this new year, and MANY of them involve this blog, and I am very excited! Let’s talk about some of my New Year’s Resolutions:

1.Exercise more.

I know, I know! I am so cliche, and I hate it! The thing about me is that it’s not like I work out in January and then forget about it for 11 months. I’m very much the type of person who will work out consistently for several months, then fall off for a month or two, then get back on the wagon. Well, I fell off the wagon after my surgery in August. At first my doctor said I couldn’t work out for two months. Then after that I got more involved in church, and one of the consequences of being involved in something is that is leaves less time to do other things. Also though, like everybody else I just make a lot of excuses.

lazy couch

I can’t go to the gym today. I have to go to work in 6 hours, and I need time to get ready.

Also the gym is embarrassing, because most of the people there are the ones who are already fit. Because they go to the gym all the time. The men are muscular and serious looking, and the women sprint on the treadmill for two hours without sweating. Afterwards they have an attractive glow to their cheeks. I start sweating profusely after I’ve been on the elliptical machine for approximately 45 seconds. This is what I look like after exercising:

zombie me

This picture is blurry, but that’s ok. I think it further illustrates the idea that I look wet and insane after physical exertion.

One of the goals for this blog though is to try out all of the classes at the gym and then tell you about them. Since a lot of new classes start out in January this works out very well as a New Year’s Resolution. I’ve already tried cycling class. I almost passed out afterwards. No, literally. So as you can see, we’re off to a good start with this project!

Yoga;Halasana (Plow Pose)

I don’t want to be negative, but I’ll probably find a way to break my leg during yoga, so don’t be surprised when it happens.

2. Eat better. Specifically, better than this:

me eating

And this:

bacon

I love this picture. Happy memories…

3.Find the love of my life, get married, and have lots of babies.

The first time I went to the store after Christmas there was Valentine ’s Day stuff out.

Vday

Jesus HEB, can I have a minute? I JUST now stopped singing “Last Christmas” with a deep, personal significance; can you wait a couple days before reminding me again that I’m single?

This isn’t really something that I can just make happen, but I’m always hopeful.  The problem is that any man that I marry is going to have to accept some very important things about the kind of person that I am. For instance, I have a love for TARA-bul puns. When I hear a terrible pun I don’t just love it, I want to share it with everyone I love immediately. And since I will presumably love my husband the most out of everybody, he will be hearing A LOT of puns. An offshoot of this is that I almost never get tired of a joke. I’m pretty sure the “that’s what she said!!!” is an overdone joke by now, but I still use it at every conceivable opportunity, and I’m pretty sure I would say it to anyone.

priests

Oh yeah. If the set up is good enough, I wouldn’t be ashamed.

And furthermore, as you might have already guessed, I spend a lot of my time looking and acting ridiculous. One of the blogs I love to read is called http://www.filing-jointly.com/, and it is written by Lauren. For Christmas she, her husband, and their friends dressed up in Christmas costumes and spent the day walking around Chicago taking photos with random people. Just for the fun of it, and to spread good cheer. I cannot state strongly enough how much this idea appeals to me.

clowns

Once during high school me and my theater friends went out in public wearing full clown costumes and makeup. We rolled down the windows of my car and listened to loud music. Everyone looked at us with bemused confusion. Nothing has ever felt so right.

So obviously, whoever I marry has to be very…open minded. At the end of the day though I’m an easy woman to please. I don’t need expensive presents. Give me a silly hat to wear in public, or take me on interesting adventures, and i’ll be pleased as punch. How many husbands can say that about their wives?

pink hat

Oh my god, I would die of happiness.

 4.Make the Dallas Cowboys have a better season this year.

Again, this isn’t really a personal New Year’s resolution, but I keep thinking that if I hope and pray enough about it that I can will a better Dallas team into reality.

miles

This same strategy is at work right now for me marrying Miles Austin. Dreams do come true. Stop using your pins of cynicism to pop my balloons of hope!!!

For those of you who don’t watch football, the conclusion of the Dallas Cowboys season was pretty awful.  They had to win the final game of the season to go to the playoffs and they didn’t. They lost it HORRIBLY.  In the sense that they kept me on the edge of my seat the whole game. They looked like they might have a chance to win, only to blow it in the final moments of the game. I cried. Yes, I cried. I also screamed at the TV a lot. At one point my mom was like, “OK, I’m starting to get mad Tara, it’s just a game after all.”

angry_girl

And I was all like, LEAVE THE HOUSE THEN! WE’RE WATCHING FOOTBALL.YOU KNEW WHAT THIS WAS!!! EYES BACK TO YOUR IPAD WOMAN!!!

3.Make this blog better/make a website, become hugely rich and famous from it, and go on Ellen to tell her the secrets of my success.

This one is the most important.

My Christmas presents were serious this year. I’m going to actually DO things with them, and improve because of them.

blogging

Blogging for dummies. Which is a much thicker book than you think.

One of the problems with me is that I get a new idea, and I want to work on it immediately, and then I want it to be finished and perfect almost immediately. This is why I’ve never been able to do puzzles; I absolutely do not have the patience for sitting there for hours putting them together.

complete puzzle

Seriously mom, if you like this picture so much I bet I can go print it off the internet. No one has to know, we’ll draw the little puzzle marks all over it and everything. That would still be faster than this nonsense.

That is sort of what happened with this blog. My grand idea for this blog is really to have a website that talks about LOTS of different things, and has lots of different resources. For instance, I’m really interested in feminist topics, so I’ve always wanted to have feminist blog. I am also really interested in reviews and movies, and critiques of pop culture. As an offshoot of that, I want to have a youtube channel where I review romantic comedies (and other movies or shows that I have something to say about) in a funny way. Very much like this:

This is the nostalgia critic, and he gives me lots of inspiration. But do you see where I’m getting ahead of myself? I don’t even know the ins and outs of designing and maintaining a blog yet, but already I want that to be done and over, so I can expand my projects. So while I haven’t been posting on this blog lately, I have DEFINITELY been working on other projects. Also I have real job that I make money from.

Speaking of that job thing I have, would you like to hear about how I had fun at the Costco Christmas Party? Yes, one might even suggest that I had TOO MUCH fun at the Costco Christmas Party. That story is for next time, and I promise you that it will be worth it.

Have a good weekend readers!

-Tara

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