I’m back! After a much too long three month break, I have returned! You might have assumed that I was doing something important, or going through some great tragedy, or mining the depths of my soul to figure out what I’m doing with my life.
I was doing none of those things. In June I went traveling, in July I moved, and in August I did a whole lotta nothin’.
Well no, I did watch a great deal of Netflix.
I didn’t even purposefully take a break from the blog, it just happened, and I kinda wished it hadn’t because I’ve missed writing on a regular basis. Don’t get me wrong, lying on the sofa for hours and watching Orange is the new black for hours is great, but blogging gives me a sense of purpose. Even though I have only a few readers, just the act of putting down my thoughts, thinking of clever things to say, and constructing each post gives me a great deal of satisfaction.
With that in mind, let’s talk about what I’ve been doing during the summer.
Moving. This isn’t the first thing I did this summer, but it’s probably the biggest and most important thing that has happened to me, and I have learned so much.
First of all, I don’t know if you guys know this, but up until July I was a 24 year old woman still living at home with my parents. I know right? You all want to stop being friends with such a loser RIGHT NOW.
Having been convinced by none of my previous actions that I’m a strange person to be friends with.
The problem was that I went to college from home so afterwards it wasn’t like I had this rush to find a new place once my dorm kicked me out. I used to dream about the glamorous apartment life. If I had my own place I could light fancy candles all over the place, I could stay out until all hours of the night without my mom worrying where I was, and I could eat whatever I wanted with no one there to judge me.
There’s an episode of the Simpsons where Homer is in his own apartment eating a tube of cookie dough on the couch. My reaction to this episode as a child was literally, “Wait, adults can just do that!?!?!?! Sign me up!”
Finally this summer I decided that it was time to realize all of my cookie-dough-on-the-couch dreams and find my own place. I don’t have a glamorous job, but with a roommate in a moderately priced apartment, I think I can scrape by.
First step: Find a roommate. I got so lucky you guys, right at the moment that I decided that I needed to move out my best friend’s little sister was also in need of a roommate.
Like this but with red hair.
Now let’s talk about how my expectations for apartment living have lined up with real life.
1. Adjusting to a roommate.
My roommate and I are getting along really well so far, but living with another person always takes some adjustment and getting used to, even if neither of you is crazy.
There has been no cookie dough on the couch so far. The main reason for this is that I feel ashamed of how DRASTICALLY healthier my roommate is than me. There are always healthy things on her side of the fridge; organic carrots, grapes, and almond milk, and I’ve already gotten Long John Silver’s TWICE since I’ve lived here. And even though there has been no cookie dough, I still need my sweet fix , so I keep lots of ice cream in the freezer and just sort of hope that she doesn’t notice it next to her frozen broccoli and banana chips.
Seriously guys, my roommate gets up earlier than I do, exercises every day, and makes sandwiches with carrots. CARROTS.
Let’s clarify, it’s not that she’s a crazy super human, I am just not living up to her standard. She is training for the marathon right now, and I feel that this has helped shame me into going to the gym regularly again. Although as I have pointed out to her, she has a whole cute wardrobe of workout clothing, and when I go to the gym it’s like, “alright where’s that ratty shirt I wore around the house three days ago that I can afford to get sweaty.” I also forgot to wear flip flops in the gym shower today. I’ve never been exactly clear on what happens to you if you do this, but people speak of wearing no shoes in the public shower with such foreboding and terror that I almost considered jumping out with shampoo still in my hair. There was nothing to be done though. If I die of “horrible shower-foot” disease we’ll know that the situation is not something to be taken lightly.
2. Broken things
Let’s talk about the apartment we found. It’s in the lower-to moderate price range we had agreed upon. It is shabby but clean, it’s in a pretty decent area of town. It is a little older than some apartment complexes, something that is marked by certain special features.
I assume that in the 1980’s flammable staircases seemed like a wonderful idea.
The day we moved in the stairs up to our second story apartment were wobbly. Something that I’m sure was not comforting to the two movers who had to carry my sofa. Another problem with this is that I’m one of those people that hates making more than one trip from the car to the house when I get groceries, so it’s only a matter of time before I crash through the wood with my bulging grocery bags and land on another person’s front porch surrounded by Long John Silvers and gallons of ice cream.
Another thing, about 3 weeks after we moved in our front doorknob fell off at night, making it almost impossible for us to open the front door. I consider being able to leave one’s residence a necessary part of life, so we called the emergency maintenance hotline, where ironically, we had to leave a message.
Also, every time I call the apartment office the recorded voice instructs me to hang up and call 911 if it’s a medical emergency. Because apparently people need to be told that.
About 15 minutes later the maintenance man showed up, looking very pissed off and resentful to be having to fix our door, because apparently residents being able to leave their apartment is not a high priority.
In his defense, he’s probably still mad at me for calling him to fix my oven when we first moved here. I mean, it definitely wasn’t working when he came over, but it also definitely wasn’t plugged in either.
That’s all for today, i’ll be back soon with more, I promise! Binge watching of more netflix series will just have to wait.