As we’ve discussed, it is now a new year, and the first major thing I did this year was attend the Costco Holiday Party. We have to have it in January because we’re too busy at work to do it in December. The party is pretty fancy. Almost everybody dresses up, there’s a dinner, and then they give out prizes. Good prizes, like a Kitchen-aid mixer, stereos, Keurig coffee machines, and flat screen TV’s.
There’s no joke here, working for Costco truly has its perks…one of which is gettin’ to see me looking FOXY.
I’m always a little apprehensive about workplace parties. I don’t want to get too out of control at these parties, but I still want to have a good time. You have to be careful, how you behave at these parties can affect how your coworkers treat you at work.
None of us can pay attention to him now that we know he has nipple rings under his shirt.
The party was at the Hyatt Hill Country Resort and spa this year, which is just as fancy as it sounds. The drive there was scary though. The Resort is off the highway, down a long dark road. I guess this is supposed to give the resort a luxurious, “secluded” feel, so that you forget that it’s actually just two miles away from a Whataburger and a Valero gas station.
And now I have a confession to make. I forgot about the “not getting too out of control at the workplace party” rule that I mentioned earlier…
No no no! It wasn’t that bad…but almost.
I’m embarrassed. And the thing is, I don’t even drink very often! For two reasons, One: I have to drive myself home in almost every situation. I do not drink and drive, and I’m single, so there’s no boyfriend that I can shove the DD job onto. Two: I hang out with my Church buddies a lot, and I’m pretty sure that almost all of them have made the decision to abstain from alcohol entirely. And since I’m a good friend, and I would never ever pressure them into drinking with me, I end up abstaining too.
Bible drinking games! One shot for every time someone talks about Jesus!
Last week I got my dad to drive me to the Costco party, where there was an abundance of alcohol (very EXPENSIVE alcohol. Seriously, I’ll be sorry when I’m paying the credit card bill), and an abundance of people willing to drink it with me. So I probably over did it a little bit. By the end of the evening I was high fiving everyone and telling my supervisor Nuffie how much I liked him…as a supervisor. That’s the only positive thing about all this. When I get drunk, I just get nicer and more complimentary, but not in a “come on to you” way.
WHOOOOOOOOOO COSTCO!!!!! By the way, I just want you to know that the example you set as a superior executive is exemplary.
Then in the middle of the evening Nuffie told me that our coworker Martee’s grandson was “digging me”. He got this information from Martee herself, and everyone from deli immediately started encouraging me to approach him. Since I had already had four cocktails by the time I received this information, I was up for anything. Once Jason (another deli coworker) found out that there was a guy at the party who was interested in me, he made it his personal prerogative to set me up. Normally I’m pretty shy, but by the time Jason was steering me over to this guy I was on Cocktail number 5, and I was feeling much friendlier. I kid you not; Jason introduced me to Martee’s grandson with these words:
“Hey you’re Martee’s grandson? Nice to meet you. I’m Jason, and this is TARASAURUS-REX!!! RAWWWWWWR!!!”
Since I was drunk at the time, I was probably making an expression just like this. So we know already I was making killer first impressions.
It’s worth pointing out that Jason had enjoyed his fair share of alcohol by this point too. This is why you should never drink too much alcohol, because I’m embarrassed to say that I do not remember the guy’s name, exactly what we talked about, or entirely what he looked like. I mean…I know he was tall… and he was wearing a hat.
Yes. It was probably definitely this guy.
We talked about football, I remember that much. I remember that I adamantly defended the Cowboys, because even drunk there are some lines I never cross and values that I never forsake.
Never, not even if someone points a gun to my head. It felt wrong just saving this to my computer.
After a brief, and hazily remembered conversation with that guy, I had a few more cocktails. Then I danced an embarrassing jig on the dance floor, and finally I took photos with Martee and her grandson. This is probably the weirdest thing I remember happening. I mean, what are they going to do with those photos if I never see him again? I can picture the two of them in the future, reminiscing over those pictures, “Oh and here we are at that one Costco party…with this random intoxicated girl”. After taking random pictures with strangers, my dad finally picked me up exactly at midnight. It was like Cinderella, but less classy.
True confessions time, there have been other parties that I left missing one shoe, but for more embarrassing reasons than those of a fairy tale princess.
The next time I went to work my coworker Josh greeted me thusly: “Heeeeeyyyyyy. I heard you got pretty drunk at the holiday party! I heard you met the love of your life too!”
Well if he’s the love of my life that’s going to be an embarrassing story to tell my grandchildren. “The first time I met your grandfather, oh I’ll never forget it. Well, actually I kind of forgot it. Immediately after it happened.”
Have a good day readers! I promise to behave myself better in the future.